Do those of u people who has time to read this university application essay, please comment!?

you seem to have some unrelated ideas. Capoeira doesn't really relate to the first part of your essay. Also you don't expand on the quote it is not meant to be a literal meaning. If you use a quote in an essay you should interpret the meaning not use it literally. You also should inculded more about why you like the purdue program that shows you have researched the program and what it offers that other schools don't. You have a start on this, but I would expand it further. You also need a comma after however. I am not the best at grammar so that is the only thing I noticed.